Banning Online Gambling and Sports Betting

Thank you Department of Justice for making the world safer for democracy.  Thank you United States Congress for protecting us all against our own stupidity. The United States is winning the war against our greatest threat: the boogie man.

Or at least the bookie man.

First, the House passed legislation that is designed to prevent you from using your credit to place a bet and may even block out websites that have the audacity to take that bet. Didn’t our own government lambaste China for doing the same thing?

A few years ago the Supreme Court said it’s okay to have “virtual” child pornography because it was simulated. That’s fine they ruled, but apparently playing poker for money is not.

Republicans out of the right side of their mouth preach personal responsibility.  They also sing the virtues of creating new ways to create tax revenue instead of simply raising taxes.  Then out of the other right side of their mouth, they demand a crackdown on online gambling because you are too stupid to know gambling is the axis of all evil.

Democrats sermonize about privacy.  You should be able to do whatever you want in the privacy of your own bedroom as long as you don’t double down on 11. Out of the other left side of their mouth, many support the Prohibition of the new century: betting.

What kind of country do we live in when there is a greater outcry for the alleged privacy rights of suspected terrorists who are not even citizens of the United States, yet minimal indignation when your basic civil right to put your money where you mouth is becomes under attack from our own elected bureaucracy?

The stuffed suits talk about fears of fully legalized gambling leading to a progression of addiction.  There goes that kooky expectation of individual accountability.

However, we know our civil servants would never be hypocritical, so surely we can outlaw other addictive vices such as alcohol again, credit cards, video games (not because they are addicting, just because too many are idiotic), and cheesesteaks.  Oh, and what is more addictive than Laura Dhue, the blonde who puts the “fox” in Fox News? What in the name of Bill Frist are we waiting for?  Outlaw Laurie Dhue now before I max out my credit cards buying any more HDTVs and VCRs so I can have all Laurie, all the time.   

The US will never catch Osama Bin Laden, but they got their big fish, David Carruthers, CEO of previously unknown terrorist group BETonSports. Reports say they are linked to an insurgency organization known as Millennium Sports.

Curruthers was arrested on a 22-count indictment of racketeering, conspiracy and fraud.  We can only assume the fraud charge was a result of again making Peyton Manning a favorite in a playoff game. We are still researching the reasons for the other charges.  I sent an email to Judge Wapner.

I will let others debate which laws are constitutional or can be enforced.  We spend too much time dilly-dallying about whether the government can stop you from placing a bet, rather than the real issue of why they wish to have such a police state to begin with.

Will one of our elected officials take time away from accepting bribes and explain to me why we have laws to deter us from choosing to place a bet or not to place a bet?

Open appeal to Bill O’Reilly or even Keith Olbermann and your 16 viewers: feel free to have me as a guest on your show to expose the illogic of the Big Brother I never had… or ever wanted. My email is joeduffy@joeduffy.net   

What say you Bill?

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